Charlie is 3 months old this week (where has the time gone?) and boy have I learned a lot. Not just about being a mom, but about being a human being who has been called to take care of another human being. And beyond that, I think about how blessed we are to be able to take care of him for the rest of our lives, which is such a privilege.
While we’ve learned so much from Charlie, I have also experienced some realizations that I did not expect. For all of you soon-to-be mama’s or gals who want to be a mom one day, take a quick coffee break and take a read.
- Single Moms + Parent’s of Twins are Truly Angels. A day or so after we had Charlie, I remember sitting in the hospital thinking, ‘How do single mom’s do it and how do parent’s of twins do it?’ I mean, really – they are absolutely amazing human beings. I always would think, ‘Gosh, twins would be so fun but must be a lot of work. Oh and single parents are amazing – not sure how they do it.’ But you don’t REALLY ‘get it’ until you are sitting in the hospital after giving birth and it just clicks and you realize – Holy smokes, those people are saints. Like how do they do it? So to all of you single parents and parents of twins out there – All hail to you! You are amazing and I have a new found understanding of you.
- You Miss your Partner. I talked about this on my Instastory a little bit because I would say this was the hardest thing for me, personally. When Chuck went back to work (3 weeks post delivery), I cried. I had knots in my stomach and just felt like I missed him so much. He was such a huge help when we got home from the hospital and I thought – how am I going to do this by myself (again, the reason I have MAJOR respect for those single mama’s out there – you are amazing!). But I did. You figure it out and you just do it. Then, every night when he would come home, he’d spend time with Charlie and have to go to bed early because he so graciously wanted to help me with one feed in the middle of night and I would do the other. But it felt like we were ships passing in the night with no 1:1 time. Then at around 1 1/2 months post-partum, we started putting Charlie on a nap schedule and that gave Chuck and I an hour at night to be together 1:1 and boy did that make a difference. It allowed Charlie to get good sleep and for us to be together. Win-win!
- Life Changes Overnight and You Feel the Mom Guilt Immediately. So here’s whats been on my mind – prior to having Charlie, I worked full time and have been working since high school. It’s all I know and being a ‘career woman’ is who I felt like I was. And I knew when I got pregnant with Charlie, I would get to add a new, adventurous, fun part to my life – being a Mom. But what’s crazy is overnight, you go from working full time – waking up, getting dressed, and tackling your day at the office to taking care of another human 24/7. It’s a change, a major one. And it’s the biggest blessing of a change I’ll ever have in my life but it doesn’t mean I won’t miss the career part of my life. I am fortunate enough to stay home for 6 months on maternity leave and spend time with my boy but it does create emotions that I’ve never had, i.e. mom guilt. There are days where I feel like I need to get out of the house alone and what do you think happens – I feel bad. Like, why do I feel this way? Aren’t I supposed to want to be with my child every second? And in my heart I do, but I realized we all need a mental break from our day to day. So I’m slowly but surely trying to encourage myself to NOT feel guilty when I go get my nails done or go to the store by myself. Would love to know how you mama’s out there handle this?
- Mom is the Best Job Title I’ll Ever Have.